Four Years

Four years is a long time.  It's the time you spend growing up before you go to kindergarten for the first time.  It's the time you spend being a teenager in high school.  It's the time you spend finding out more about yourself, making bad choices, and maybe partying too much in your undergrad.  It's the amount of time I will have spent down here in Colombia.

Four years is also the amount of time that has passed since my mom died.  I still remember that fateful morning clearly.  Mom and dad leaving for Barbados, skyping with Trevor, my parents returning home having not even made it to the airport.  Mom collapsing before she even made it back into the house.  Being shocked to find out that she had a giant brain tumour that no one knew about.  Everything happened so fast, and no one thought that it would be our last morning with her.

My first communion.  Loving Matt's pose and red clip-on tie.

While the loss of my mom is heartbreaking and I miss her every day, I have found over these four years that the best way to honour and remember her is to be thankful for life, for the changes that have happened since, and to live my own life to its fullest. I am thankful that I was home in Markham for my practicum when she died instead of 3 hours away in Kingston.  I am thankful that my parents were not on the plane or in Barbados yet.  I am thankful for first aid training and camp experiences that helped me stay calm when my mom fell.  I am thankful that, creepily enough, my mom had gone over what she wanted for her funeral with me the night before she died so that we sent her off properly (it was included in all the emergency contacts and information that she gave me since they were going to Barbados).  I am thankful that my father, brother, and I have become so much closer; and that we have become better people.

Our annual Thanksgiving walk through Spring Valley

Mom- I love you and miss you.  There are so many things that I want to share with you (talking about boys with dad is funny, but it's just not the same).  But I know that you're watching over us and I am doing my best to make you proud.

Spotlight: Rita McDermott

Second in my Spotlight Series of people who make my life better...a girl who dances through life!

Name: Rita McDermott

Age: 30

What she does: Rita is a teacher, currently at SSIS in Ho Chi Minh City.  She has been teaching for something like 9 years (I think), 6 of those years as an international teacher.  But she is so much more than a teacher.  She is a friend, an old housemate, a dance partner, and a hero for girls around the world.

Why I admire her:  I first met Rita when I moved down to Colombia 4 years ago.  I thought she was pretty, energetic, and a girl who knew what she wanted.  We ended up becoming housemates a week later, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made!  Rita helped me get through that first year of teaching and living abroad.  She helped me communicate when I couldn't speak Spanish, she inspired me as a teacher, and she became my Colombian dance partner!  I learned so much from her in the 2 years we lived together, and I miss her dearly.  Oh, and how can I forget no-pants-crime-drama-time and Youtube karaoke?

As I mentioned before, Rita is an advocate for girls all around the world.  Last year she took up the challenge of raising enough money to send 30 girls to school for a year before she turned 30 at the end of December.  She put so much energy, passion, time, and effort into the project, and she ended up raising enough money to give 66 girls an education!!  Not only did she raise money, but she created 30 different dance thank you videos to show her donors her appreciation.  These dance thank yous were hilarious and amazing!  They also provided viewers with important information about female education.  Some of my favourites included "What does the fox say", Rita falling and pulling down the decorations in "Timber", and my own personal dance thank you to some K-pop featuring 2 other friends!

My personal dance thank you from Rita! (Featuring Jeff and Tiff)

Even though she already turned 30, you can still help donate to her cause (either through her or through one of the organizations listed on her website).  Please check out her 30 by 30 project here! http://30by30reflectbackpayforward.wordpress.com/

Rita's passion has changed the lives of the 66 girls, and I know she won't stop there!  Rita is on the path to amazingness and the world is a better place because of her.  I can't wait to see what she does next.  I know that whatever it is she will do it with love, with a smile on her face, and a dance in her step.

Rita is the mona to my chi and she inspires me to be my best self, to give back to the world, to pursue my dreams, and to make the world a better place by dancing.  We may be half a world away now, but she will always be a close friend in my heart.

Spotlight: Kam Heather

I've decided to spend some time writing about inspirational people in my life- a Spotlight Series on people who make me a better person.  I am kicking off the series with a man who I owe my life to, literally.  My dad!

Name: Kam Heather

Age: 59

What he does:  Since retiring, Kam has become a fitness guru/ ninja of sorts.  P90X, Insanity, and Tap Out can't hold him down!  He taught spin classes at the YMCA and swims quite frequently.  In his spare time he plans out elaborate trips and has had some amazing travel experiences around the world.  Just this past Sunday he left for Africa for 4 months to bike from Sudan to Capetown!

Why I admire him:  My dad is one of the best examples of life success stories I can think of.  Born in Hong Kong, at the young age of 2 his parents died and he grew up in 2 different orphanages.  At the age of 10 he raised his hand when asked who wanted to go to Canada.  It took 4 long years for the adoption to go through- 4 years of diminishing hope.  Finally at the age of 14 he moved to Canada to join the Heather family (ever wonder why a Chinese-Jamaican girl has such a weird last name that doesn't seem to match?).  Unfortunately the Heather family didn't work out for him and a few years later he found himself at the Ingham residence (I consider the Inghams my family on my dad's side).

Growing up as a teen in a completely Caucasian and English speaking environment as the only Chinese boy must have been difficult.  But no matter the obstacles, my dad became successful in high school and became a member of many sports teams and even the student council.  He went on to be accepted into the competitive and prestigious Commerce Program at Queen's University (GO QUEEN'S!) and payed his own way through school.

As an adult, he didn't find much joy in being an accountant and auditor, so he took initiative to go for something more appealing.  After a lot of work, he became a trainer for Revenue Canada and trained people in everything they needed to know about taxes.  He traveled all over Canada.  Anyone who can make taxes easy (and almost entertaining) to learn definitely deserves some credit!  He worked hard to make his presentations clear and accessible (I know- he would make my brother and I sit through his presentations as he practiced!)

When my mom passed away in March 2010, I think my family saw this as a big wake up call.  We took this opportunity to really focus on the important things in life.  I think for my dad that meant focusing on himself as a person and on our family.  Since then my dad has become more self-aware, more approachable, and more happy in his own skin.  Some might even say he can be philosophical at times!  Not only is he a better person, but he is funny too!  Well, funny if you have a cheesy sense of humour like me (I see where I get it from now).

My dad and I didn't always get along.  We've had our fair share of rough patches, but we have both moved past that, grown as human beings, and we are closer than ever.  I am so proud of him for everything that he has accomplished and for the wonderful man that he has become.  I hope that when I am his age I have the same confidence, self-awareness, and grace that he does (and that I'm as fit and get to travel as much as he does too!)  When I am faced with adversity, I think of everything that he has done, and I know that I can do it.

If I could describe my dad in only a few words: smart, funny, hard-worker, caring, and cockroach ('cause you can't take him down!)

Love you dad!